13. "Where do we go from here?"

Things didn't start off so great this week. We had the wake on Sunday and that made for a very l-o-n-g day. A few family issues really didn't help either, but it's okay, it's just a thing. I guess you have to take the bad with the good and move on, like it or not.

So today was the last radiation treatment in this cycle!!!!! YEAH!! We also found out that he won't be getting anymore chemotherapy for this cycle either. It came as a bit of a shock because according to our schedule he would have chemo through July. The plan now is to recover from all of the treatments and in 4 weeks (July 23rd) to get another ct scan to see if the lymph node has shrunk and to see if there is anymore cancer growing. If everything looks good he will start another round of chemo that is stronger and more aggressive to help prevent it from coming back. If the results are not good I don't know what the plan will be. So now we are all a little nervous. The kids are even nervous. We need lots of positive energy, support, and prayers!

So for the next couple of weeks we need to hold our heads up high and help my husband recover, stay strong and positive!

We need to focus as well on how we are going to get out of this financial situation we are in and catch up on getting all of the kids in for their physicals and dentist appointments. I think there is plenty to keep our minds busy!
I'll let you know how we are progressing week by week.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support!! I know that's how we've managed to come through this whole thing so far. Until next time, God Bless!!!

6."The Fight"!

Well the first day of radiation therapy went pretty smooth. It only took about 10 minutes and so far there aren't any side effects but, our emotions are getting the best of us both. They say that you shouldn't think of the what ifs. To think positive and live life to the fullest everyday! I have to say that when you are looking mortality in the face you are humbled and it becomes very hard to think clearly.
We went for a second opinion and it went OK. They agreed with the first one and that the treatment plan would be the same. The thing that got us both upset was that they said the cancer appears to have come back in a very short amount of time. They are making this assumption according to the results of the ct scan. At this time they don't want to do a biopsy to confirm it. They just want to start treatment ASAP.
On top of all that chemo started today too. He did really well! No side effects so far! Although I've done nothing but cry for 2 days now at the thought of all those what ifs. Everything seems to get me started. Things on TV, things the kids say, talking to family. I have to stay busy!! I've been cleaning and running errands. I avoid letting him see me cry so I go and hide out in my room on the computer. I know I have to stay strong for all of us! If I fall apart we all fall apart. The worst part is that I know the emotional roller coaster is all part of this thing but I truly hate feeling so helpless and weak! I have to get my mind set on thinking positive and staying strong so that I can help him win this fight!! !!!
Thank you again for reading my blog! God bless to you all!

5."The storm begins"

We return to see the oncologist and prepare to start chemo and then the Dr. proceeds to tell us that he needs to do a cat scan because after reviewing our case with the the 9 other Dr's. that are involved they are questioning the treatment options and want to see if there have been any changes in the lymph nodes in his chest. So he will not start chemo toady. He decided to put the results on stat so that no matter what the outcome a treatment plan will go into affect ASAP.
My husband however was relieved that he would not have to go through with the chemo today. I must admit that a part of me was too, but my fear of the results from the cat scan were much bigger than the relief. They told us to go home and they set up an appointment to begin the chemo for tomorrow. So again we wait and then the call came about 20 minutes later. The results were not good. The lymph nodes were larger than they were in the first cat scan. He will now have a different treatment plan with a not so good prognosis. The chance of a complete cure and no recurrence was not likely.
The next day instead of chemo we have to see the radiologist. The new treatment plan involves radiation and chemo. Radiotherapy M-F for a total of 37 treatments and chemotherapy once a week for the next 7 weeks. God help us!! It's going to be a very long road! (the 7 weeks that is).
I would truly like to get a second opinion! Seems like someone doesn't know what they are doing here! It's Friday and he starts radiation on Monday. Did they do that on purpose? My fear is overwhelming!
I will write again soon! God Bless to all!